If you get to the finish line, this deposit is not lost, it's added to your final purchase price.
To the seller it shows that you are a serious buyer. For the buyer is a way to make a commitment with the process.
If this transaction Jesse get to the closing table the buyer can have the deposit back with one condition, they need to get out within the window time offered in the executed contract. After that date, seller is entitled to retain the escrow deposit money.
Buyers can place an addendum if extra days needed, however this doesn't warranty that seller will accept.
This is why is important to ask for it before the deadline.
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